Today, is exactly one year after grandma left us... during the time of this year..
New year is nth great to be joyful abt.. ever since on the first day of new year, she brought us the surprise..
When everyone is there celebrating and glad to be reunited, she was der fighting a battle alone unknown to others, how bad can it seems. To me, there is forever this guilt and anguish in me that wont be erased as i had my faults. She never left happily, nor did she left peacefully. But i knew she did her best to survive her very last one month when the docs concluded that she couldnt. She had such a strong will to accompany her grandchildren on her last journey that she refused to go.

Last sun, i went to pray to her and wished her Happy New Year. I admit that when i saw her photo up there, my tears will drop immediately.
K.. to me the whole thing is not a story, its about a beautiful memory.
Chun said on his blog on sun:

It’s pointless to keep thinking of the sad memories. Let bygones be bygones… so STOP THINKING OF IT because it’s only you who choose whether you want a happy or sad life. I want you to be happy and I know you can achieve that!

I must agree w him to certain extent but not for this case.
Since I had never done my part for the past 21 years, all I had left is just this memory which i cant be deprived of. This will only add on to my guilt.